Just another day in paradise

So, this morning I had a conference call with a whole slew of people that I don't like. There was the doctor, mike's therapist, the reviewer, the head of the counselors, me and my mom. It was to get a plan since yesterday all that we worked for was for not.
I had a ton of people tell me just to let God do this. blah blah blah. What does that mean? There is not an instruction booklet that comes with depressed spouses. Also it was determined that Mike was telling me one story and telling those in his hospital something entirely different. His therapist had a brillant idea that we should limit our conversations now to every other day and it can't be about him. First of all coming from a VERY bossy person, I don't do well with being told to do, let alone what to say or not say. I don't do well when I can't sleep in the middle of the nite sometimes I call the nurse to see if he's okay. For the last 10 years all I have done is take care of him, make sure he was happy, well, at work, not drinking, not cutting, not overspending, not reeling from talking his crazy mom, that he was not bored, etc. For 10 years we have spent all our energies on him. Now they are telling us that he has to be husband and not patient and I can't be caretaker and not wife. This is all good on paper, but I don't know what this looks like... I don't know how to be hands off. People tell me this is a good thing, and that oh I can rest now. I don't know what resting is... I go and then I sleep. Right now I don't want to sleep or go..... I can't plan... I am not good at much...

My dad has been travelling for 10 days and he comes home tomorrow. I called him today and cried, I realize how much I love my dad and need him. He is coming home just in time for his birthday on Thursday. I want to make him a card and something special. I am really blessed to have parents who truly love me.

This week my mom went way above and beyond... she not only took care of the both stores, made Savanny and I dinner she worked on our front yard. Our grass is doing well thanks to a great neighbor but they don't take care of the trees and bushes. She came over right after we left for work on Monday and blessed us. Tonight when I came home the driveway was all cleaned up. I am so blown away with how she thinks of me and takes care of me. She knows that that simple few hours was a true blessing. Her birthday is next week. I need some ideas of gifts, have anything up your sleeve?